My child has been irritable for several weeks. He no longer eats, sleeps poorly, often cries for no apparent reason. Or on the contrary, he has withdrawn into himself, no longer plays, no longer laughs. As a parent or professional, how can we distinguish a normal developmental phase from a distress signal that deserves specific attention? Children's mental health is a subject that still gives rise to a lot of hesitation, for fear of overdiagnosing, for lack of information, or simply because children do not always speak with words. According to the WHO, approximately 10 to 20% of children and adolescents worldwide have a mental disorder. And according to a study published in The Lancet Psychiatry (2017), half of adult psychiatric disorders begin before the age of 14. Acting early means changing the course of things.
1. Children's mental health: what are we talking about?
A child's mental health is not just the absence of a psychiatric disorder. It is the ability to develop harmoniously on an emotional, cognitive and social level: to learn, to play, to make friends, to manage frustrations, to separate from parents, to adapt to changes. These abilities are built gradually, and largely depend on the quality of the emotional and educational environment.
The foundations of a child's mental health are built very early: the quality of the attachment bond with parental figures in the first years of life is one of the most powerful predictors of mental health in adulthood. This does not mean that imperfect attachment dooms, resilience is possible, but that the quality of early care has a lasting and measurable impact.
| Age | Behavioral and emotional warning signs | Frequent somatic signals | ||
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 0-3 years | Inconsolable crying, significant sleep disturbances, food refusal, excessive separation difficulties, withdrawal from relationships, lack of smiling social | Severe colic, feeding problems, developmental delay | ||
| 3-6 years | Intense separation anxiety, frequent nightmares, enuresis secondary, significant aggression, regressions (return to the bottle, thumb sucking), school refusal 13px;border:1px solid #B2DFDB;color:#374151;vertical-align:top">6-12 years | Drop in academic performance, social withdrawal, persistent sadness, irritability, behaviors obsessives, sleep disorders, self-esteem #B2DFDB;color:#374151;vertical-align:top;background:#F4FBFA">All ages | Sudden regression, unusual behaviors persisting for more than 2-3 weeks, impairment of usual functioning, mentions of death or wanting to disappear | Sudden changes in appetite or sleep |
2. Warning signs according to age
Children's psychological disorders express themselves differently depending on age. Here are the main signals to know:
3. The main childhood disorders: recognizing them
Anxiety disorders: the most common in children. Separation anxiety, specific phobias, generalized anxiety, school phobia. They affect 5 to 10% of children. Separation anxiety is normal up to 3 years of age; beyond that, persistent intensity warrants evaluation.
ADHD: attention deficit disorder with or without hyperactivity. Affects 3 to 5% of school-age children. Manifested by difficulties with attention, impulsivity and (sometimes) motor hyperactivity which impact learning and relationships.
Depressive disorder: often overlooked in children because it manifests differently, irritability more than sadness, school refusal, somatic complaints. Affects 1 to 3% of children before puberty.
Autism spectrum disorders (ASD): characterized by difficulties with social communication and repetitive behaviors. Early detection (ideally before 3 years) allows for treatment that significantly improves the prognosis.
Reactive disorders: reactions to stressful events (parental separation, bereavement, harassment, violence). Often temporary but requiring attention and support.
4. The role of parents: what I can do on a daily basisCreate a safe speaking space. My child should be able to express his emotions, including negative ones, without being minimized, judged or scolded for them. “I understand you’re angry. What happened? » is worth infinitely more than “stop crying, it’s nothing”.
Name the emotions. Helping my child put words to what he feels develops his emotional intelligence and his ability to regulate his internal states. Specific games, books and tools exist depending on age.
Maintain stable routines. The predictability and stability of rhythms (meals, bedtime, school) are reassuring for the child's brain. In times of crisis or change, maintaining daily rituals significantly reduces anxiety.
Limit screens. Before 3 years: no screen except video calls. From 3 to 6 years old: 30 minutes maximum per day. From 6 to 12 years old: 1 hour maximum per day, excluding school use. Excess screen time disrupts sleep, attention and language development.
Taking care of my own mental health. Parental mental health is one of the most powerful determinants of children's mental health. An exhausted, anxious or depressed parent involuntarily transmits their states to their child's still immature nervous system. Taking care of myself means protecting my child.
5. When to consult and who to refer?
I consult my general practitioner or pediatrician if the warning signals persist for more than 2 to 3 weeks and alter my child's usual functioning (school, sleep, appetite, relationships). Early assessment is always better than waiting.
Specialized professionals include the child psychiatrist (doctor specializing in child psychiatry), the child psychologist, the speech therapist (for language disorders and dys), the CMP (Medico-Psychological Center), accessible without appointment and free.
If a child mentions death or wants to disappear, immediately contact a doctor or 3114.
💡 tips to remember
- 50% of adult psychiatric disorders begin before the age of 14. Spotting warning signs early and consulting without delay is the most impactful act of prevention for long-term mental health.
- I create a safe speaking space: my child must be able to express his negative emotions without being minimized or scolded. Listening to and naming your emotions is worth more than any advice.
- I maintain stable routines: the predictability of rhythms (meals, bedtime, school) is profoundly reassuring for the child's brain, especially in times of change or stress.
- My own mental health is one of the most powerful determinants of my child's. Taking care of myself also means protecting my child, without guilt.
- If the warning signs persist for more than 2 to 3 weeks and alter usual functioning, I consult my doctor or pediatrician. The CMP is accessible without an appointment and free.
